A cult of love...

As I mentioned, I left my last entry with one’s experience of a love cult, and the impetus that set me on a journey through morocco...

I arrived in Almeria, Spain to a boat full of excellent guys.

The owner, an experienced sailor, full or wisdom and the desire to experience all the beauty of the world through his Dutch seaworthy craft.  I had responded to his posting on couch-sailing, and it seemed like a great way to do a bit of Mediterranean sailing and meet some new friends.  Three other guys and one American friend, from all walks of life, simply with an open mind, varying views of the world, coming together for what I believed would be an incredibly sailing experience.  I was curious about that intuitive voice that had been pressing on me in the back of my mind to not go, but again, I thought, I am here, I will see how things develop.  

Upon arriving, I realized that the date of May 1 departure was far from actuality, as the boat was far from a condition of being ready to set sail.  I think; not a problem, this will only give me a few days to explore the area and get to know the people I will be spending the next few weeks with.

So a few days go by and that voice of question is once again at the table:  

For me, as I travel about in the world, I have zero troubles with fitting in with a culture, trying new things, being as chameleon like as possible in new situations.  However, I also know a side of me, a bit more of a sailor side one could name it.  A side that was once very absorbed with alcohol, mostly from trying to hide my actual emotions, and the other debaucheries that go more with a lifestyle of partying.  I am ok with this side sometimes, but I also realize my tolerance for smoking, drinking, etc, has greatly diminished as I have gotten older.  Now, don’t get me incorrectly, I still love a good glass of wine or sharing some spirits with friends, but the day to day activities of this, I do not handle very well anymore, especially after feeling very cleansed from hundreds of kilometer’s of cycling.  

However, I kept an open mind, knowing that if it really was not a fit, I would simply debark on our first port in morocco and give a hug and handshake of appreciation. 

The day of departing almeria came and off we went out to the high seas of the Mediterranean.  I had not sailed his vessel, so I was simply taking the time to learn how he operated and soon realized that he and I were the only ones with a bit of sailing experience under our belt. I am far from a very experienced sailor, but I have spent enough time on the water to feel comfortable in any craft on the ocean.  As for the other four, they were all beginners, which is both exciting, but can also be quite tiresome. So in attempting to depart almeria, we ended up quite far off shore, hitting gale force winds, unable to keep a steady course, due to the strong winds and current in the area.  Essentially we were on a direct course for Algeria, a country that would not accept any of us without proper visas. All the sails was reefed, people were getting sick, including myself :), so the skipper decided to bring her back into almeria.  We arrived early in the morning, took some time to digest our first journey together and besides not getting to our destination, we had all learned quite a bit.

And then the days continued.  Upon arriving back into almeria, I inquisitively asked when our day of departure would be, and this was casually pushed aside to a day somewhere in the future, 3-4 days...

I thought, ok, I understand, its his craft he can decide.

However, as the days went on, wind was checked, I felt people beginning to get a little antsy.  A few of the guys were discussing they would like to leave, etc. The feeling was people were getting a bit sick of port life in almeria.  This was brought up to the skipper and never a straight answer was really portrayed. 

As I tend to be a bit of an outspoken individual, these concerns were brought up under my fingertips, as though I was complaining, when in actuality, I was simply being the voice of many, who were a bit timid to speak.

One aspect of sailing, shipping, working on a ship, etc, that constantly stimulates me is the action of human behaviour on board a vessel.  Most of the crew members attitude is directly stemmed from the mentality of the captain.  Ship’s I have worked on with a totalitarian captain, often have timid, afraid to speak officers and crew members, for they do not feel there is an open forum for discussion with the captain.  Those vessels with a stern, yet open minded captain, who knows his vessel, yet creates a forum and an energy of learning, growth and outspoken thoughts, have an entirely different energy.

As I know I am comparing a ship to a boat here, I feel there are similarities with the way in which a captain/skipper handles his crew.  Essentially, for me, it was fascinating to see all of these new sailors, on a vessel, with many thoughts and worries, but without an energy or a forum to share.  I was away from a space of judgement on it, just observation into who I would be sailing with for the next few weeks.

Again, that little voice of spirit was speaking in my ear again...

So, at last the good part of this long explanation.  The night before, what I believed was the day we would be departing, we all get into a discussion about God, love, spirit, creation, etc.  This was a conversation initiated by just a gentle discussion over a beer or two in the galley. Now, the energy of this conversation at first seemed quite inviting: I thought:  brilliant, a space to discuss the things I dream about, study, explore in the world:  Human consciousness and the evolution of spirit.  With a few of the guys coming   from more of an agnostic point of view, I was intrigued by the differences in viewpoints.

For me, in any of these discussions, I have zero attachments to shifting people’s views, or the way they see things. In many ways, it actually stimulates me.  I genuinely enjoy discussing about these bigger questions in life, and how and where a person thinks, is absolutely perfect for them, for that is truly what makes this world/culture so magnificent. If we all had similar viewpoints, life would become static, and weak upon the senses.

Now, as they began to ask about where I received my studies, I happily shared from the University of Santa Monica and I also shared about my studies with John Castagnini and John DeMartini, along with the Agape International Spiritual Center.  All of these I feel have been influential in allowing me to see, feel and taste a variety of study in Human Consciousness. Its a never ending study, but one that is often marked by teachers and wise elders along the way. I feel the scientific based evidence into truly understanding human nature from both John’s, along with the authentic self model to becoming fully alive and present into spirit, presented by USM, has truly allowed me to step into my own divine wisdom and journey through my travels and life.

Now, here is where it became interesting and I felt a shift in the conversation.  I noticed the questions beginning to shift from general inquisition, to more of a badgering and belittlement.  For me, as a room (or boat in this situation) begin to turn in focus, to more of the human state of judgement and wrongdoing, away from an authentic space of love, I kept my ground.  I also in this case, began to introduce ideas of extreme conditions of humans finding gratitude through challenge, as with my work with the ThankGodI project. However, this conversation was only turning more and more sour.

In my studies with USM, I recall an older USM graduate friend of mine, bringing awareness of what I believe was some sexual scandals from the chancellor of USM: John Roger.  When I first became aware of this years ago, it really did not interest me for research, for what I have learned on this journey:  

Anything and everything that is brought forward in this world: Some people will love it

Some people will hate it.

People will talk about their love for something

Others will detest the grounds of its existences.

Essentially, its that equilibrated existence that we all live in, its just a matter of becoming aware of the synchronicity of perceived opposites that are always at play within our consciousness.

So as these friends from the boat researched the university, and read about such scandals from its chancellor, they naturally enquired for additional information: much of which I was unable to give, for it never brought interest for me.

I knew my USM education was for me from the moment I sat in an information evening, my knees vibrating, my heart beating a pulse faster.  The lessons, the learnings, the evolution of my soul that I experienced within those doors, I take with me everyday.  As essentially, it taught me to live with a greater sense of love and appreciation for the world, dismantling my judgements and literally feeling lighter in my travels.

Therefore in this moment of what I perceived to be badgering and questioning, it simply evoked in me a greater space of love for every soul that was within that room.

Seeing them

Feeling them

Accepting that where they resided was perfect in every way shape or form

and that God/spirit/love, however you would like to say it surrounded every morsel of their body

I sat their with this awareness and allowed the light to simply shade over the room.

Naturally, after such a conversation, we went out for some Tapas, and a cerveza, to top of the night and off to sailing journeys the following day.  I was inspired by the conversation, I was without a care or attachment to any outcome, just felt blessed to share just a part of me with some new friends ...or so I thought....

The following day, I went out for some errands and realized the thickness of the entire situation was more heavily weighing upon my shoulders.  I inform my American friend, that I am heading out for a bit to clear my head and see if this sailing trip is really something I want to embark upon with these individuals.  I love, respect and see the beauty of where and how their minds and spirits reside, but spending many weeks in this energy, I am not sure if this is for me...

Upon returning to the vessel, the skipper gathers everyone in the cockpit of the boat. I can already feel a shifted energy from him, but I keep an open mind to the situation. I, assuming it was a conversation upon our departure from almeria, am greatly mistaken.  He turns to my American friend and asks her viewpoint on God.

I think, well not exactly about our departure, but lets see where this goes.  

As the conversation continues, he once again begins asking and inquiring upon my USM education.  I once again answer with the same honestly and sincerity as the night before, now beginning to really wonder where he is going with this.

Essentially, he holds this meeting to show to his crew that there will be no mind control on this vessel.  He informs me he would like me to leave the boat, for he is afraid I am conducting some kind of mind control trick upon him.  He believes USM is a cult, for this is the research he has found over numerous hours staying awake the night before.  I inform him it is a cult, and yes I have a firm desire to control his mind, to share a more loving accepting energy in the world !!

Joking...

Well essentially, if USM was considered a cult, it would a cult of individuals teaching every soul they encounter how to live a life in a greater state of love, joy, compassion and simple pure bliss.  So, if this is the kind of mind control he was suggesting, its quite possible that my light, or space of love, was a bit overwhelming.  Possibly the conviction of my thoughts and ideas were a bit much, but regardless of how, or why he perceived me this way, it was magnificent.  As once again, that little voice of spirit that was suggesting that there was another journey apart from the sailing trip, was absolutely correct.

I am grateful for my days I spent in almeria with the guys.

I am grateful for my discussions with these men, and I will admit my ego was a bit rejoiced to hear from one of the other crew members that he agreed with everything I had said, and had read extensively into similar textbooks about these ideas.

However, he never felt a safe space for sharing or discussing such topics, and I suppose all for the better, as I believe he is still sailing on board.  

For the skipper, its his vessel, as just the same as my vessel, we make decisions for what we believe will be the better way for all on board.  For his honestly and sincerity I am grateful, for the look I received from him once he shared with me his beliefs over mind control, was similar to the look I used to give to those hardcore born again christians, or firm believes of islam, before I simply saw them in their beauty and true expression of god.

So thank you for this experience, for the lessons were great and it started me on a earlier and more expansive cycling journey through morocco.... to be shared....